I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize