I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize