Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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