the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
