I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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