im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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