I wish my penis had an off switch
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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