The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
