I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
