so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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