I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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