the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize