I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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