i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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