We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
