she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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