I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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