Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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