I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
