I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
