my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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