Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
