shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
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Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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