Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
