Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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