i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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