i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
