I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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