When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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