I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
