i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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