You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
high people should be assigned attendants
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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