That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
