Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
