I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he was CRYING into my vagina
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
