and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
