yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
