he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
