Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
