I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
