Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
