well I can't set my house on fire every night
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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