she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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