im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize