I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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