You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
