your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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