i don't like sucking hair
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize