I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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