I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
