I hate all girls vehemently.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize