i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
