I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
only if we run a train.
done.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
