No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said you looked used
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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